a note on snark pages
Of course I’ve visited snark pages on reddit, I’d argue that most people that either:
a) are in the social media space themselves as influencers at any level
or
b) follow influencers on social media
probably have at some point, and if they say they haven’t then they’re probably lying. I remember the first time that snark pages actually came up on my radar, it was maybe 1-2 years ago when my account had seen quite a bit of growth so I decided to google my Tiktok username. From there, I saw some Reddit threads come up on the Google results and found just a couple of mentions of my username here and there on various snark reddit pages. At first, I was honestly shocked, then intrigued, then slightly flattered and mostly sad. I’m being 100% truthful when I say I had never heard of snark pages until that day. I fell down a rabbithole of seeing thousands and thousands of reddit pages dedicated either to groups of influencers within certain cities or sometimes even 1 influencer. I have to say, I was very very glad to not see my name more than a couple of times - although I will say it’s a bit of mixed emotions as I inevitably wonder if that means my content isn’t good enough to be getting noticed at all (they say any press is good press, right?) (i’m self absorbed).
Since that day, I’m proud to say I’ve only visited them a couple of times. I absolutely try my best not to go onto any of those pages at all. I think they are absolutely the worst traits of humanity (and unfortunately, girlhood), on display. They disgust me. Some of the comments written about people about their looks, personalities, careers, etc. are some of the meanest comments I’ve ever seen in my life. However, it’d be a lie to say that I never visit them or never am tempted to. Unfortunately, it’s part of human nature, and specifically womanhood, to gossip. It’s a natural trait and whenever people try to act like they don’t gossip at all, it pisses me off. Gossiping has been around basically since homo sapiens could communicate with one another. (If that sort of stuff interests you, I recommend reading the book Sapiens. It goes into detail about humanity and things like gossip and it’s an interesting read). Considering this, I don’t think that vilifying people, and especially vilifying women, for gossiping is ever okay.
However, the problem with Reddit threads like the ones I’m describing is that it’s a completely unnatural way to gossip. It’s more than just harmless gossip in my opinion - it’s never positive. The pages are built specifically to talk shit about people and be negative; so much so that any positive comments at all actually get downvoted and/or deleted. To me, that’s insane and completely unnatural. There’s no natural conversation happening here with multiple opinions, constructive arguing, voices of reason, it’s people sharing negative comments without any repercussions. What’s worse is the way it almost seems to be celebrated. I saw a video on Tiktok today of a girl posting about how she visits snark pages for her favorite influencers and the comments on the video were shocking. It was many, many other people celebrating these snark pages and boasting about their contributions to them. I truly cannot believe that anyone wouldn’t be embarrassed of visiting these pages, let alone contributing to them. I’ll say that anytime I’ve visited them, I turn my laptop enough so my husband can’t see what I’m reading. I’m ashamed that I’ve ever visited them at all, I’m ashamed that I’m so conceited that I’ve searched my name on Reddit to see what people have said about me.
Interestingly, my biggest complaint in these threads seems to be my voice. I had honestly never considered myself to have a super nasally voice until reading these comments. It’s not something that anyone normal would likely ever say to me in person and of course, traditional gossip takes place behind the subject’s back, so I’d never learn of it if that’s what people around me are saying. This shows how unnatural these pages are. It surfaces the worst possible things anyone could ever say about you and reveals insecurities that you might have spent your entire life not having. Now, I completely see that my voice sounds nasally. It’s all I can hear when I watch my own videos back. Luckily, it’s not something that I can do much to change. I can’t imagine seeing any comments about my looks or body on forums like this - things within my control to change. This is exactly why plastic surgery is such an issue in today’s culture, or people get on ozempic, or even have eating disorders. It’s absolutely terrible. BUT! if you get on ozempic, they’ll shit talk that too! If you get plastic surgery or botox, you’ll be shamed for it. but if you look older than your age or unflattering at any point during a video, chances are, if you’re famous enough, a screengrab of that will be plastered on these forums to be ripped apart.
I strongly feel that these snark forums are hell on earth. they expose the cruelty of humanity and unfortunately, women. it’s human nature to gossip, but not like this. it’s also unfortunate how tempting it is to look at these pages, especially if you suspect your name might be on there somewhere. I guess it’s also human nature to also do things that you know are bad for you. I vow 10000% to never, ever post on these pages. contributing to these forums and normalizing this behavior is absolutely not okay. no one should be boasting about contributing to these pages. it’s shameful and sad. i’ve made a conscious decision to not search my name anymore at all and really try to never look at these pages. If i ever feel temped, I close my laptop. I know that gossiping is natural, but not something I’m proud to do. I would never want to be a bully and honestly, 99% of people that contribute to those pages are (and are also clearly unhappy individuals). I don’t have the reddit app on my phone. It’s not hard to avoid, but it’s hard to get yourself out of a rabbithole once you’ve fallen down into it.
as women, we need to stand together. we need to build each other up and celebrate each others’ successes. if you don’t like someone, that’s fine. engage in healthy dialogue, voice your criticisms. but let’s not act like these pages are anything other than what they are, and let’s certainly not celebrate them.